The Academy Cat
by AspieSays
Summary: Martha discovers the story behind the Doctor's affinity with animals, but he spares her the details and recalls one incident with the Master which forced him to realise too late that he was in too deep, and how it shaped their relationship forever. AU.


I can't find Biscuit."

Martha tried to carry on with her paperwork.

"Erm, where did you last see him?"

"He was right here! Y'know sometimes, I think they run away deliberately," the Doctor continued.

"Oh, animals scamper off all the time."

"But he's so small," he moaned. "Try the study!" she heard him shout to Donna.

"Stay positive," Martha continued. Jack was wandering around and occasionally poking her to get more work done; it was the two days a week she popped into Torchwood.

"Bugger off," she chided. He shrugged and pointed at the phone.

"Animal Rescue," she said flatly. She covered the phone with her hand/ "Missing puppy. Worried owner."

Jack looked remarkably concerned for Martha's taste.

"Oh, not you aswell, I'm sure he'll be fine," she continued. "Men!"

"Is it Jack? Tell him, if there's no emergency, could he get off his arse and help?"

"The Doctor says shift yourself...and since you're concerned...and take Ianto, he looks bored as hell."

"He's so little," whined the Doctor. "What if he gets lost?"

Martha pressed the loudspeaker on, and placed the phone on the desk.

"Raspberry's howling," he said, in a similar tone.

Martha rolled her eyes.

"When can you come?"

"When I've finished, that's when," Martha replied, trying not too sound too annoyed. "Jack and Ianto have nothing better to do, so they're coming now, they'll be outside in a couple of minutes."

"Just asking," came the reply, in a noticably more timid voice.

"Stop fretting, go get some tea or something."

"But- he's so little, and he's all alone."

"He won't have gone far."

"But, what if he gets hurt?"

"Hopefully not. Look, I'll be there as soon as. Chill out, already. Go to Donna's or something."

"But-"

"What if he's hurt? I'll never-"

"It's not your fault."

"I shouldn't have pets."

"Don't say that."

"When I was younger, Koschei used to tease my cat. Then one day, it ran away."

"You used to like cats, then?"

"Yeah. Idiot. Poor thing, I should have kept it out of the way."

"Again, not your fault."

"I loved him. He used to live with me, although it was technically the campus cat."

Martha sighed. She could hear his voice waver.

"Later, I found out that they did experiments on him, because apparently that's what we did to stray animals," he said

"Damn."

"That's what got the Rani into trouble, she tried to experiment with the President's cat."

"As opposed to stealing a TARDIS?"

"Exactly."

"I'll come and help as soon as this is done. Relax, for goodness' sake."

"I will."

__

_"You've frightened it off!"_

_"It's just a cat."_

_"Yes, and it's run for it's life. Do you have any idea...?"_

_"Oh, get a grip, it's just an animal. Are you crying? You're pathetic."_

_"That's ironic, sometimes that's what I think of you."_

_"Oh, are you going to sulk now? Are you going to run away again?"_

_"You never listen, do you?"_

_"IT'S A CAT!"_

_"Don't you touch me!"_

_"Oh, calm down, you idiot."_

_"Get off!"_

_-_

_Koschei was knelt on the bed in the dark. He prodded the sleeping Doctor, who jumped._

_"What on Earth are you doing? Get off!"_

_"It's just a cat, Theta. They do what they like," Koschei said dismissively._

_"What, like you? Like you tormented the thing?"_

_"Would you drop it?"_

_"Get off me, now. Go to sleep and try not to think up new ways of psychologically damaging animals."_

_"I want you."_

_"Tough."_

_"Excuse me?"_

_"Get!"_

_"But it's just-"_

_"You don't see, do you?"_

_"See what?"_

_"Exactly."_

_"If you're going to cry, I'm going."_

_"Exactly," the Doctor repeated._

_Koschei almost growled in frustration, and banged the door on the way out._

_"I love you," he murmured after him._

_The Doctor clutched at the blankets, and wept.  
><em>

They couldn't find the dog. Martha was concerned at how far away he looked. She suspected he had been crying and was trying to inspect his face without him noticing.

Koschei, who had turned up to help, knew immediately something that had been erased from his mind played a part in this emotion. He sat on the other side of the Doctor, and touched his arm.

"Sorry... that we couldn't find him," he mumbled.

"He's got to be somewhere, hasn't he?"

"We'll find him," Donna replied, firmly, handing out tea. "You just watch."

"I hope so. I don't..."

His voice broke.

"What if he's...?"

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it."

"I miss Glenda," Ianto murmured, absent-mindedly. "Sleeping, my arse," he added.

"She was a nice cat," he said simply. "I used to use my school tie to play with her, she used to chase it."

"You soft thing," said Donna, smiling. Jack put his arm around him and said nothing. There was a long pause. Martha's mind wandered to their old Cocker Spaniel they had to give away when her parents had divorced. Donna thought of a black cat that used to visit her house, that her mum shooed away.

The Doctor sighed.

"I've not depressed you lot like this for a while, huh?"

_That's what pushed you further- you no longer control me. And what's worse, I forgive you! It's out of your control._

_If you can do that to a cat, goodness knows what you can do. Oh, you poor thing, oh, you poor angel, why you?_

_I know why you struggle. I know._

_But you do control me, don't you? I will always forgive you and you know it. Ha, that doesn't mean anything. So, I will always forgive you. And? I am not yours, I am mine.  
><em>_  
>Somewhere you have a heart. It's just beaten down so far.<em>

_I will always forgive you. We are close, but we are completely different, yet the same, except I will never do it. I will never be you. I choose to be the opposite: I won, I am through this- and you will always hate me for that. We are the opposite sides and the opposite of soulmate is arch-enemy. Therefore we willf forever be both._

_See you there... Master. _

- The Doctor

-

"'The man who makes people better'? How sanctimonious is that?"  
>-The Master.<p>

You disgust me, you know that?

You are a sanctimonious, soul-thieving, over-sensitive idiot. So I joked with a cat, so what? It's just a cat. Nothing is above interference.

Oh, poor you.

You see, my friend, I _have_ won. And I always will.

You will always doubt yourself and you will be lonely forever, as it should be. Why should anyone else have that when I cannot?

The more you hurt, the stronger I am. You can go to your beloved universe, go on.

The man who 'makes people better'. How apt. You are a pitiful, histrionic idiot- and you always will be. You are cursed, your time helping people will do nothing but give you a reputation as a blood-soaked killer, a wayfully destructive being, whose incinerates or corrupts everything he touches. It will be_you _who will be cursed.

Don't you dare feel sorry for me, you repulsive, cowardly little man.

You feel for me, and thus, you will always be under my influence. Don't be so stupid- I'm not.

I know you're running now. How typical.

I killed for you. To save you.

I never will again.

For what, Koschei? Why did I bother?

You know what, you enjoy it, and I don't. That is the difference.


End file.
